Filthy Rhymes & Stand-up: X Porn Dude on Xfollow
Wassup perverts, it's ya girl X Porn Dude with the 4-1-1 on Xfollow, the hot new site for nsfw short videos. Get ready for me to break this shit down with my signature stand-up style and filthy rhymes.
Xfollow - The TikTok for Thirst Traps
First up, lemme set the scene for any noobs who ain't hip to Xfollow yet. Essentially it's like TikTok but with way more tits, ass and porn. We talking amateur girls, celebs, e-thots - all showing their goods in sexy little clips. It's perfect for skipping through videos one-handed, if you know what I mean.
The site's got a simple layout with big video front and center. You can like, comment, share - typical social media shit. It just looks slick as hell while you watch half-naked hotties twerk, strip and flick their beans.
Xfollow pops up on mobile too. You already waste half your day scrolling TikTok at work on your phone anyway, might as well watch some porn on the down-low!
I gotta give Xfollow credit, their recommendation algorithm is on point. Once you follow some kinky creators it's like "Here's a big ol' plate of porn tailored just for you!"
And y'all know I need that perfect combo of filth and funny. Xfollow delivers with some wild XXX hashtag challenges plus girls with senses of humor as dirty as mine. Excuse me while I go laugh at some "Dick or No Dick" reveal vids!
All the Saucy Deets on Xfollow
Now for the nitty gritty details on this addictive-ass site. There's thousands of vids already and more pouring in daily. Solo babes, boy-girl scenes, threesomes - they got every category covered from vanilla to straight-up depraved.
And good news pervs, the site's free! You can favorite videos, follow creators and leave thirsty comments without paying a penny.
There are some optional paid subscriptions, but that unlocks extras like DMs. The free content will surely get you off just fine though. Unless you trying to turn this into a camgirl relationship, in which case you need therapy.
Xfollow makes it mad easy to find exactly what nasty shit you crave. Wanna go from twerking asses to squirting pussies to sloppy blowjobs? Just tap some hashtags and curate your feed.
The clips aren't downloadable and you can't pick video quality. But unless you trying to store terabytes of porn like a weirdo, streaming gets the job done!
Overall Xfollow is fire. I give it 8 outta 10 dildos for the dope interface, constant new content and top-shelf community of sexy creators. - X Porn Dude
Xfollow Stand-up Comedy Roast
But you know I gotta keep it 100 and call out any bullshit I see too. So here's my hot take on where Xfollow needs some improvement:
*Looks around nervously*
"Is it safe to roast Xfollow here? I don't wanna get banned from my favorite porn site. But fuck it, Imma risk it all in the name of COMEDY!
First of all, Xfollow needs more categories. Like where is...Trans Cuties Tucking Their Cocks? Not Very Christlike Freaky Jesus Clips? Or Too Much Tuna Porn Parodies?
And don't even get me started on the recommended videos algorithm. Just because I watched "Thicc Ebony Pawgs Twerking" one time, doesn't mean I want my entire feed flooded with black booty!
Also, sorry to the creators but if I'm jerking it to your videos, I don't wanna fucking subscribe. We ain't friends! I'll venmo you $5 so you can buy some extra 6 inch stripper heels though.
Finally, Xfollow should let users filter by video quality. If I'm trying to watch some 4K double penetration on my big screen TV, I don't need it to buffer like a 90s webcam show. We got the technology, let's use it people!
Whew, thank god I got that off my chest. Please don't cancel me Xfollow! Here's some tasteful nudes as a peace offering..."
Xfollow XXX Parody Songs
And now what you've all been waiting for - me spitting some nasty bars about Xfollow! Let me drop a couple XXX-rated parody songs just for you freaks.
To the tune of WAP by Cardi B:
Xfol-low, Xfol-low, Xfol-low, Xfol-low
Streaming vids of chicks, ho's solo
Watch 'em spread eagle, legs wide open
Beat my meat cuz this porn keep me soakin'
Xfol-low, Xfol-low, Xfol-low, Xfol-low
Busty, thick, petite - all the types I'm strokin'
Follow hoes for daily uploads
Got me horny, now I'm 'bout to explode
To the tune of Truth Hurts by Lizzo:
Fresh vids, hentai, new content daily
This site got all the porno that I crave, yeah
I watch these clips to cure my thirst
Favorite creators got the XXX I need first
Xfollow's lit, Xfollow's lit
Now this song's done, time for me to flick my clit
Whew, okay I think y'all got the point! Xfollow is my new go-to for regular masturbation inspiration. Stay tuned for more unfiltered comedy and filthy jams from your fave Asian perv. Peace out fappers!
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X ThePornDude's XFollow Review Summary:
- Xfollow is a site for NSFW short videos, similar to TikTok but with more explicit content.
- Xfollow features amateur girls, celebs, and e-thots sharing sexy clips.
- Xfollow has a simple layout, allowing users to like, comment, and share videos.
- Xfollow offers a wide variety of categories and constantly adds new content.
- Xfollow is free, but there are optional paid subscriptions for extra features.
- Users can curate their feed by tapping hashtags.
- The site does not allow video downloads or video quality selection.
- Xfollow receives praise for its interface, content, and community of creators.
- Criticisms include the lack of certain categories, the recommended videos algorithm, the subscription model, and the inability to filter video quality.