Adult Match Maker - Can This Aussie Hookup Site Really Get You Laid?
What's good ya filthy animals! It's ya girl XPornDude back at it again with the hookup site explorations! Now I know times is tough for all my single dogs out there. Dating apps got you drier than the Sahara. But fear not my little thotties, I'm here to take one for the team and test out Adult Match Maker to see if it's the real deal.
So buckle up while I investigate this Aussie hookup spot and give you allll the naughty deets. We talking pros, cons, tips, and of course...can it actually get you laid? Let's find out!
Adult Match Maker Overview
Aight, first things first - Adult Match Maker claims to have over 2.5 million Australian hotties ready to get down and dirty. They say it's for casual dating and hookups for sexy singles and swingers. Now that sounds dandy, but ya girl had to see for herself.
I made a free account to scope it out. Let me tell ya, the free version is drier than my DMs. Limited everything. But that's how they get ya - you gotta upgrade if you want the goods!
So I took one for the team and upgraded. And let me say - it was like a whole new world! Messaging, unlimited pics, sexy chatrooms - the site really opened up. Turns out those 2.5 million Aussies are actually active and ready to mingle!
AdultMatchMaker Pros - This Freaky Site Ain't No Joke!
Now that I was upgraded, I saw Adult Match Maker has some serious benefits:
- Tons of horny Aussie *singles* looking for a good time
- Kinky couples and swingers tryna get freaky deaky
- Sexy profile pics and amateur vids to get you in the mood
- Flirty chatrooms open 24/7 for sexting
- Get swiping and matching instantly
I ain't gonna lie, I was impressed. This site hooked me up with more action than Tinder and Bumble combined! For real real, Adult Match Maker came through.
AdultMatchMaker Cons - Is It Worth The Price Though?
Ok look, it wasn't all rainbows and orgasms. I gotta keep it 100 with you.
The biggest con in my opinion is the price. Membership starts at 49 AUD a month for the basic plan. Damn, that's like two weeks of groceries for me! They offer discounts for longer subscriptions, but still. A hookup app shouldn't cost more than my Hulu subscription imo.
So it really comes down to how bad you trying to get some. For a super horny mofo like me, it was worth it. But I get it, the price ain't for everyone. You gotta weigh your options.
AdultMatchMaker Tips For Success - Lock Down The Hookup
If you decide to test out Adult Match Maker, ya girl has some pro tips:
- Upload lots of *sexy* pics - show off the goods!
- Flirt hard in the chatrooms - break the ice
- Look for verified profiles - reduces scams
- Ask for a video chat - see them IRL before the date
- Meet in public first - safety first!
- Use protection - wrap it before you tap it!
AdultMatchMaker The Verdict - Should You Sign Up?
So after all that, is Adult Match Maker worth it? Well here's my take...
If you're in Australia and looking to get your casual freak on, this site is legit. Models and influencers probably not gonna be on there. But horny average hotties looking for real hookups are. So if you tryna get laid, give it shot!
XPornDude's Parting Words
That's all folks! I hoped this reviewed helped you decide if Adult Match Maker is right for your kinky needs. Now go forth and get you some! But stay safe out there too - don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Deuces! Stay horny baby!
*XPornDude drops mic*
*Crowd goes wild*
XPornDude's Stand Up Comedy - The Struggle is Real
*XPornDude takes stage*
How are we doing tonight folks! Got some single ladies here? *woops* Holla! Where my lonely dudes at? *men cheer*
Ok ok. Not so lonely now huh fellas? Well buckle up, we're going deep on the struggle of online dating. The highs, the lows, and the straight up woes. Grab your tissues and your lube, this is about to get real!
First up - theforbidden online dating app fruit - Tinder. Swipe left, swipe right, like playing the lottery hoping to get a match. Half the time it's a bot or an influencer promoting her OnlyFans. I don't need your juicy booty pics girl, I need JUICY CONVO.
*XPornDude mimics rapid swiping gestures*
Then the most torturous part - waiting for a response. You shoot your shot with the perfect pickup line. Hours go by, days even. Finally you get the notification ding! You open it up faster than free pizza delivery. And it's just "haha yea." YEA?! I poured my heart out over here! Gimme something to work with woman!
*XPornDude shakes fist angrily at sky*
Don't even get me started on Bumble. You match, now the pressure is on cuz you know the woman has to message first. So you wait. And you wait. 24 hours goes by and poof, match expired. She got too busy living her influencer lifestyle to say hi to an average Joe like me!
*XPornDude pretends to cry hysterically*
But that's okay, there's still Hinge right? Wrong. I don't know about you guys, but it takes me at least a few hours to come up with a clever response to those prompts. You finally craft the perfect reply. And she ghosts. Every. Damn. Time.
*XPornDude collapses dramatically*
But despite it all, I persist. I continue the endless swiping, wooping, liking, winking, poking, matching...because one day, one sweet day I will find the perfect hooku- I mean the love of my life. Stay strong warriors! Now go! Fight the good fight!
*XPornDude gets teary eyed and salutes audience*
Thank you, you've been great! I love you all!
*Blows kisses and exits stage*
The Perfect Ending - A Love Song
*XPornDude returns to stage with microphone*
Alright alright, I know that last bit got a little heavy. How about we wrap up this Adult Match Maker review on a high note? Who's ready for an inspirational XPornDude original love ballad?! Let me hear you scream!
*Crowd cheers loudly*
Here we go!
*Upbeat music starts playing*
Harmonizing our hearts, desire in the night
We log on to Adult Match Maker, thirsty for delight
Flirting and chatting from dusk till dawn
No more lonely nights now that we've found turn ons
Other sites wasted my time, swipe left, swipe right
But you and me baby, we got it just right
We're a perfect match, like wine and cheese
We connect so naturally, unique chemistry
Looking in your eyes so deep, I get lost and hypnotized
On our rendezvous so fly, inhibitions behind us left
This wasn't just a hookup, it was meant to be
Between you and me baby, your soul speaks directly to me
No more games, gambles or shame
Found passion again in the form of your beautiful frame
Forget the past, the ghosters are gone
This love will stand strong, together we log on
You complete me, my other half
Thank you Adult Match Maker for the laughs
For the friendships, relationships and flings
And most of all, for the love you bring
This is our sexy fairytale beginning!
We did it y'all! XPornDude out!
*Blows kisses and exits stage as crowd applauds*
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X ThePornDude's AdultMatchMaker Review Summary
- Adult Match Maker is an Australian hookup site with over 2.5 million members.
- Free accounts have limited features, and upgrading to a paid membership provides more functionality.
- Adult Match Maker offers a variety of benefits, including a large number of Australian singles, sexy profile pics and amateur videos, 24/7 chatrooms, and instant matching.
- The main downside is the price, starting at 49 AUD per month for the basic plan.
- Tips for success on Adult Match Maker include uploading attractive photos, engaging in chatrooms, seeking verified profiles, video chatting before meeting in person, prioritizing safety, and practicing safe sex.
- If you're in Australia and looking for casual hookups, Adult Match Maker is worth considering.